i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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