Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize