so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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