Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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