He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
