Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
