i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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