She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
