It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize