Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
