stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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