yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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