this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
