ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
