i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize