My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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