How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
