Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.