Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
