two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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