she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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