i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize