Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
