I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
