Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize