I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
