i think my mom watched the whole time
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
