the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
