We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
