You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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