she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
FUCK WHALES
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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