Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
