this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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