you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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