Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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