I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
