I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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