look no pants
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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