I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
