Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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