how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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