He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it because I queefed?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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