Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
