I'm pants shitting drunk right now
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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