i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
