is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
