Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
