so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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