I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
