I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize