Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
