I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
