i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
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I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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