I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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