You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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