Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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