I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
