You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
be right there i have to get my cape
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
