I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
