I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
