I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
