very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize